I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
