just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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