Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
