Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
