She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
