his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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