guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
My hand turned me down
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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