why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
