i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
