pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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