Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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