apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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