Nicole vs. Life
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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