Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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