She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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