Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
