Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
