Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
This toilet bowl is my home.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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