Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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