We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
