I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
