I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
