You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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