Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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