i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
