he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Boobs are out for the taking
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
