So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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