apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Be still, my beating vagina.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
