Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
