I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
