That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
