i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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