Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
