I hate all girls vehemently.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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