Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
