420 ftw
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
only you would photoshop your dick
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
