Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Dear god my vagina.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
