So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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