There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
