i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
