I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
