make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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