I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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