So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She's the barista slut.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
