What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
