look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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