"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
