my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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