The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
