Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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